Get ready, get set, wait, wait, wait
Written July 31, 2024:
I've been pretty patient throughout this entire process, since waiting to start it in August of 2020, and getting to start November of the same year. But now I'm losing my patience. Why? Because we have now known for a long time, that there is a particular child that we are waiting for. (Before you read any further, no, we know no details about the child except that it is in the age range we chose, 0-2 years.) In March, we called to our agency because we were wondering how to plan out our summer. We had been told we should let them know of any trips over two weeks long. Since we usually go to the US in the summer, we were starting to think about that. Or wondering if we should stay home since we were just there over Christmas, and instead have puppies and sheep, etc. So, we called. And after beating around the bush for a while, she unofficially, and not with these specific words, told us we were matched with a child. We were ecstatic, rejoicing all evening, and dreaming, and talking about everything child/family related we could think of! She told us that traveling (to the US) in June was probably fine, but July/August we should maybe be ready to go South. She also told us, as we already knew, that NONE of it is a done deal yet, and she has no control over how fast or slow things move in South Africa. Nevertheless, I decided right away that we would be gone all of July, and get home in early August, thus not going back to work when the daycare reopens August 5th.
We told just a few people, since it was unofficial and uncertain. Ronnie did tell his employer, but I chose not to tell mine, since there were already some staff changes happening, and I didn't want to stress out my boss unnecessarily, and potentially ruin her spring/summer with stress!
We talked to the agency again the end of May, and since she had previously told us that they had gone to pick up some of our documents themselves, instead of waiting for the mail, I thought maybe we would be going earlier than I had expected! No, she didn't have anything new to tell us then. Just that we were still waiting for the central authorities to handle our case. I was bummed for a few minutes, but not too much, knowing that I had overreacted and hoped for too much. It was kind of a relief right then, because we were SO busy with all the stuff that spring brings with it, and Ronnie was also busy at work. So we set that thought on the back burner for a while, while we worked on everything we worked on.
She had promised to call us back and give us an update before she took a week of vacation about a month later. According to that promise, we heard from her right about Midsummer, that no progress had been made. At the same time, May and June were FULL of child proposals from South Africa, making us so excited for ourselves, and also the others who were receiving them! So it was again a bummer that our process hadn't moved. She thought they have meetings every 2-3 weeks, and that our papers would probably be in the next batch.
My summer break was 6 weeks long (last day today!), and that was just a week in. So I still figured I'd be home "for good," so to say. But 3 weeks in, I saw another adoptive mom in town, and talking to her, learned that it sometimes takes up to a couple months AFTER being approved by the central authorities, before receiving The Call. That was hard to take in. And that, along with knowing that if they didn't call the following week, I would be going back to work, made for the hardest week I've had during this whole process. I was a mess. (Side note: I DO like my job! I would just much rather be at home with our child that we've been waiting so long for, and shouldn't have made myself any false expectations!) At the end of that week was my birthday, and I was distracted all day long with a trip to an amusement park. And since the end of the week was the limit, I resigned myself to the fact that I was, in fact, going back to work, and calmed down.
I felt like I was getting used to disappointment by this time. I knew I shouldn't keep setting these imaginary "deadlines," but couldn't help it either. (Hey, it happens every month when one is hoping to be pregnant, so I don't really feel like I'm unique in this, lol.) A call to the agency the Monday after my birthday revealed the same disappointing news--STILL waiting. She thought they should have had a meeting the previous week, but for some reason they didn't. Still, she thought they would have one that week, and she would send us a message if/when we made it through. Well, Friday came and went and we never heard anything.
The following week she started her remaining three weeks of vacation, and that's where we are today. Not sure if we were approved yet or not, not sure when The Call will come. Now, it would be easier if we didn't know anything, we agreed, but I don't know if that's true. It's good to know there is a little person out there with our names attached :) But now since we've known it for four months with no progress that we know of, is discouraging at times!
In the meantime, we have been pretty productive! It has been relaxing to be home all summer, slowly getting stuff done, taking better care of the yard and garden than ever before (don't judge, if you see it...even if it is better than before, if still far from any magazine-worthy garden, haha!), reading books to prepare and educate us, shopping, organizing, and knitting up a storm!
This blog won't be shared until The Call has come, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts and feelings recorded, before we are living on Cloud 9 (can't wait!).
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